


If you dream of me like I dream of you

by MsPooslie



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, First Kiss, Idiots in Love, Lack of Communication, M/M, Mutual Pining, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Is Not Helping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 10:45:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17641283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsPooslie/pseuds/MsPooslie
Summary: “Steve, I don’t want you to kiss me.”Steve looks hurt. “I know you ain’t gay but I’m not THAT bad, surely.”





	If you dream of me like I dream of you

“Truth or dare, Barton. Come on!” Tony taunts as they sit around in the detritus of the recently ended party.

“Ugggh, fine! Truth!”

“You and Red Scare, you ever” he makes an obscene gesture, earning a slap on the arm from Pepper and a glare from Natasha.

“Nah, man, Nat’s ace dude. Besides, she’s my best friend, not gonna wreck that.” He turns to Steve, “alright, truth or dare, Rogers, you’re up!”

Bucky tenses minutely next to him, only Steve and Natasha can tell.

Steve takes a long draw from his beer before deciding on dare.

Clint’s face falls, “ah man I was gonna get you to spill the beans on Peggy Carter!” He pouts a little before lighting up. “Well, speaking of wrecking friendships with romance, you hafta kiss Barnes!”

Steve nearly turns purple in embarrassment as Bucky goes ramrod still. All eyes in the room are on them as Steve stiffly turns to Bucky with a sheepish grin.

“NO!” Bucky jumps up and practically leaps away from the circle of couches. “No fuckin way. Not cool, Barton!”

Clint looks surprised at his reaction, “what, the gay thing? Come on man it’s 2019, nobody's gonna care. It’s just for the game anyways.”

Steve stands and turns to face him, “hey Buck, it’s fine, if you don’t wanna. We can pick something else.”

Tony gives a look of outrage. “No uh-uh, no way! I had to shave my left sideburn off!”

Steve turns back to him, exasperated, “that was just you embarrassing yourself tough, it wasn’t forcing someone else into it!” He turns to Clint, “pick something else man, come on.”

This time it’s Natasha who speaks, “them’s the rules, man can’t back out.” She gives a dimpled smirk, knowing exactly what she’s doing.

Steve turns back to Bucky with a helpless gesture and puppy eyes, “let’s just get it over with. Nobody’s gonna think anything bad about ya.”

“Well, no more than we already do,” Tony earns himself another slap from Pepper and a surreptitious kick in the shin from Sam.

“Steve, I can’t. Please can we just drop it?” This last part is directed at the rest of the group.

A chorus of “no”s is the response.

Steve steps over the ottoman they were sitting on and telegraphs his move to reach out to Bucky’s left shoulder.

“Hey pal, what’s really going on here? You never had a problem with the queers in our neighborhood before so I don’t think that’s it.”

The look Steve receives is full of trepidation and Bucky’s voice has an edge of begging, “Steve, I don’t want you to kiss me.”

Steve looks hurt. “I know you ain’t gay but I’m not THAT bad, surely.”

Bucky now looks likely to bolt as Steve steps back from him, dropping his hand from his shoulder. He steps back over the ottoman and slumps down heavily, grabbing his beer and downing the rest. Everyone continues to stare in silence.

Finally, Bucky speaks again, a tremor in his voice, “I don’t want you to kiss me as part of some stupid dare.”

Steve whips around so fast a normal person would have sprained something. “What?”

“I don’t want you to kiss me on a date or because it’s what they want,” he waves a hand at all the gawking faces, “or even what I want,” he runs a hand through his hair, pulling it at the crown of his head in frustration. “I want you to kiss me because it’s what YOU want. I want you to kiss me because you want ME.” With that, he turns on his heel and darts out of the room.

Steve sits gaping in shock at where Bucky was standing for a few moments before he turns to look at Natasha and Sam who glance at each other before shouting in unison, “go get him!”

As Steve dashes from the room, he hears Tony muttering, “at least all that therapy I’ve been paying for has finally done something. Ow! it’s true! Hey, it’s good, he’s saying what he wants!”

* * *

 

Steve heads straight for the roof where Bucky sometimes goes to cool off. As he comes up the stairs, he spots Bucky, leaning against the parapet, face in his hands. He stops, suddenly torn with indecision. Bucky had walked away, came up here to be alone. Was it right to barge in on his solitude?

“Damn, Rogers, I swear can hear your freak out all the way over here,” Bucky hadn’t moved

“Sorry, Buck, I just wasn’t sure if you wanted to be left alone.”

Bucky waves him over without raising his head, “‘ts fine, ‘m just embarrassed.”

“Why, nothing wrong with what you said. It’s taken you a long time to get to where you can say what you want at all, not to mention in front of everyone like that. I’m proud of ya, pal.”

Bucky’s head whips up and he’s glaring, “fuck, Stevie, shut the hell up will ya? I’m embarrassed because I held that in for over eighty fucking years and now Stark ain’t never gonna let me hear the damned end of it.” He lays his head back in his hands, “It would be one thing if you wanted me back but you don’t, not like that.”

“Not want you? Jesus, Buck! Do you think i defied one hundred and seventeen countries to protect you just because you are my best friend?! Damnit, I yearn for you. I ache. Deep in my gut. I’ve wanted you since I knew what want WAS. My first ‘pants feelings’ were because of you. Christ, I had to go to confession twice a week during puberty because I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Bucky’s face moves from shocked to skeptical, “What about Carter?”

“Yeah I loved Peggy, woulda married her if I hadn’t--if the Valkyrie hadn’t crashed. She was amazing, one in a million.” Steve rubs the back of his neck, frustration getting the better of him “I knew i couldn’t have you so i pushed it down, willed it away as best i could. I thought you--I mean, you were out with a different gal every night! How was i supposed to know that you could ever have felt like that about me?”

“You know what i did with all those gals, Rogers? NOTHING. Word gets out that you are a smooth dancer who’ll show ‘em a good time and not try to get all up their skirts? Yeah line around the block, pal.” Bucky has turned around and is sitting on the low wall now, glaring stubbornly at Steve, “besides, you had enough going against you without me getting us thrown in jail.”

“I woulda gone to jail for you, Buck,” Steve crowds into his space, “I still would.”

“Oh shuddup ya punk. You’d go to jail just to make a point.” Bucky’s tone is angry but he is leaning forward, pressing his forehead against the center of Steve’s chest.

Steve chuckles, “Not even Ross is trying to arrest me anymore. It’s terrible,” he slides a hand up Bucky’s back to cup his neck.

“Yeah, so terrible to live your life in peace for once. Good thing you have me around causing all this drama,” Bucky’s voice has become a little breathless. He licks his lips and wraps his arms around Steve’s hips.

“Look at me, jerk,” Steve chucks him under the chin. When Bucky cranes his neck up, lights catch the streaks of water on his cheeks. Steve cups Bucky’s chin in both hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. “I love you, Buck.”

“I love you too, Stevie, since before I can remember.”

Steve bends down and gives him a simple peck on the lips. When he pulls back it is like the floodgates have been opened. Suddenly they are both scrabbling at each other, pulling their bodies as close as possible, kissing with a fervor that has been put off for decades. Steve delves his fingers into Bucky’s hair and they groan into each other's mouths.

When they finally pull apart, they press their foreheads together for a few moments, catching their breath. Then Bucky nuzzles against Steve’s cheek and they’re back at it, off to the races.

* * *

 

Later, they are sitting side by side on the wall, Bucky’s head on Steve’s shoulder when Bucky starts laughing. “'Pants feelings?' Really, Rogers?”

“That’s what Father O'shaughnessy called them! He said that i was normal but to try and not focus on them because that was for my future wife. When i told him it was a boy he said that at my age just about anything would set them off. He only assigned me two Pater Noster!”

“Haha ya got off light, kid! How old were you?”

“I remember the exact day. It was July 21, 1930--I was painting the weekly sales signs for the grocer and you were helping your dad in the shop next door lugging boxes up from them basement doors out on the sidewalk. It was so damned hot. You had sweated through your undershirt so you took it off. Then you took a break, leaning against the door and picked up a pop. When you brought it to your mouth, the muscles in your back and shoulders rippled under your tan skin. I was breathing so hard I gave myself an asthma attack.”

“Oh my god, I actually remember that day! I threw my shirt in the bucket of ice water for the drinks and tried to put it on your neck to try and get you cooled off and you just kept pushin’ me away!”

“Well, yeah! You STILL had your SHIRT OFF! And there I was suffering from my first boner and the cause of said boner is now touchin me?! I thought i was gonna have a stroke and drop dead right there on that sidewalk.” they both have to take a minute to recover from laughing.

“What happened after that?”

“Becca brought your ma who had a stash of my asthma cigarettes. Did you know they had marijuana in them? Anyway, that got me calmed down, probably high as a kite considering how i was dragging on it to show you i was fine and get you the hell away from me. Good thing i still had a lap full of signs to work on, i think it took most of a half hour for that erection to go down.”

Bucky has lost it again, nearly falling off the roof as he rocks back with a guffaw.

* * *

 

They hold hands as they come down, back to the common room. When they enter, everyone turns to stare and Steve just says, “Sam, truth or dare?”

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the Tracy Chapman song, The Promise  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcfswBZpSBU


End file.
